alphabet of rooms



AWAKEN
As I write this, it's still the deepest black outside (despite the clock showing it's already 7.30am), but the birds are starting to chatter and chirp, so the light of day must be appearing somewhere on the horizon. It really is one of my favourite sounds, and I give thanks each time I hear it - thanks for the gift of hearing (denied to so many), thanks for living in rural England (I've lived in Africa and the US, but England is my soul-home), thanks for birds (such amazing creatures), thanks for the everyday miracle of simply being ALIVE.

I've awakened to this New Year incredibly slowly (this cold/flu/virus-thing has drained me dry). Each day, I think 'Today I'll have more energy...', and I get washed and dressed, and that's it - I'm done! I read a bit, journal a bit, tidy a bit and nap A LOT, and before I know it, it's bedtime...

I keep adding to my 'to-do' list, but I'm being gentle with myself - I write the thing to be done, but I have a 'started' box, an 'ongoing' box and a 'completed' box. I've 'started' quite a few things as energy permits, and things like 'tidy desk' are ongoing, so I feel I'm making progress, little by little. 

That's the thing with low energy reserves - you just make the steps smaller, so you feel like you're making some kind of progress. It's all mind-games, but hey, if it works, don't knock it! 

We never arrive in this lifetime, but always return and awaken...
again and again.
Christine Valters Paintner, PhD 

And in the spirit of 'awakening' again and again, I've signed up for this. I love Satya's courses, and her gentle, thoughtful approach. As she says,

I know when I’m not ‘awake’. I drift through my days without stopping to think about what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. I flit from one task to another like a restless butterfly. 

So much of being 'awake' is being aware and alive. It's too easy to sleep-walk through our days - despite being busy and active. Notice I started this post with my 'to-do' list. It's actually easier to DO than to BE. It's easier to live on the surface of Life by being busy, than it is to be awake and aware of WHY we're doing what we're doing. 

It's been said many times, we are human BEings not human DOings, but we define ourselves so often by the jobs we do. But as I slowly move through the days of 2018, I want to spend my days AWAKE to myself and the life I am living.

What I love about my new Breathe planner, which I mentioned here, is the open plan pages and the space for weekly reflection. It's helping me consider what I'm doing and why...
It's a simple tool, but it helps. 
~000~

BREATHE
I'm still moving slowly, still not 100%, but I'm getting there. 
So I amble onto the second of my alphabet of rooms, 'Room to breathe...'


I came across this on Facebook the other day and just had to use it here - not least as my Word for 2017 was CHERISH.

I work a lot with my breath - I start my daily morning prayer/quiet time by breathing long and deep... It's how I become present to the moment, how I 'drop down' into my 'soul space', how I centre myself. I use a lot of mantras, such as this one, some remembered from others', but most composed in the moment.

I watch how Molly-cat breathes, curled up on my lap, how it's her belly that rises and falls, not her rib cage. So many humans breathe shallow, high in their bodies, seeming to have forgotten how to breathe... how to slow down... how to make the most of each and every breath, how to fill themselves up with Life-giving goodness.

Of course, on one level breathing is something we should just do, without giving it a second thought - it's automatic, it's a basic bodily function like blinking. But if that's how we always live, we deny ourselves such riches, for each breath is actually a gift, a chance to say Thank You...

And our bodies will actually thank us if we can find such moments throughout the day to just breathe... our anxiety and stress levels drop, our heartbeat slows, our monkey minds ease their chatter. For that moment, in that minute, we can actually step outside time, outside any situation in which we find ourselves, and instead find our inner calm, our inner sanctuary.

Like everything, it takes practice to do, but the more we take moments like this, the easier they become, eventually becoming second-nature, automatic - well, like breathing. 😊


~000~
CREATE
Here's my desk today...


... busy creating a sermon, crafting a service, ready for Sunday morning - even broke out my college Greek New Testament to check something... Just seeing this beautiful language printed on those smooth, well-thumbed pages, suddenly makes me feel a teenager again! 
And while it took me over 2 years to learn to read again after the stroke, I'm so grateful my knowledge of Greek (albeit rusty through lack of practice), also returned!

Yes, I wish I could paint like this


or write like this


but I can't.*
So, I'm making room to create 
in the only way I know how,
right now ✏📓 

Sharing with Julia over at The Stamping Ground.

This has to be THE most beautiful book produced in 2017. It really is spell-binding, breath-taking, a treaure for all ages... 👱👵👸
~000~

DEEPEN
Today, I have no words of my own, finding it hard to focus. I think I used up
 all my creative juices writing and delivering the service yesterday morning...
But all these writers are saying what I want to express.



(I added the words to an image found on google)

~000~
EXPLORE
My desk under the lights, first thing this morning...

Exploring the ins and outs of bullet journalling.
Working out what works for me, and loving Jane's take on it - combining a bullet journal with her art journal 😍 I, also, like to mix things up with pictures and scribblings... I LIKE organized chaos 😃
I found Jane's video most helpful, and I'm enjoying the book she recommends (pictured) - 
clear instructions/ideas and LOTS of photos!

~000~
FORGIVE
I confess, I'm wimping out of this HUGE topic, but I know I'll revisit it - maybe in the privacy of my journal...
But I wanted to share something with Becca at Nurturing Thursday
And this is the essence of it all, really.


And because it's my favourite author's birthday (thank you, google), I had to share these - I, too, usually have six or seven books on the go at the same time; and the second is the nub of my sermon last Sunday - wish I'd found the quote before then...



~000~
GATHER
There's something about the word 'gather'... it makes me smile, and my soul sing 💓💖💝💞💟

Partly because it is rich in meaning - just look at the options, when you google 'gather definition' [at this point I tried to copy and paste the definition, but it messed up the format of the whole post 😒, the vestiges of which you can still see...]

We gather thoughts, twigs, information, fabric, children, ourselves...

One of my favourite Bible verses is John 6.12... after feeding the 5000, with five barley loaves and two fish, Jesus tells his disciples:

Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.
(King James Version)


I know the point of the verse is to show there were so many bits left, they filled 12 whole baskets - quite a miracle of crowd catering! But I love these ten simple words, in isolation, regardless of context...



Gather up the fragments (of memories, of moments, of society), that nothing (and no one!) be lost - if only we lived like that, living each day (whether it be good, bad, or indifferent) to the full. If only we saw every single person (whoever they may be) as worthy of gathering up, so none may be lost...



And when we gather up these fragments, we can put them to good use - like the wee bits of broken pot used to create the mosaic pictured - and create something beautiful, which just may last for several centuries...

~000~

HESITATE
I am a hesitant kind of person, always have been, but even more so since the stroke.
When one loses the ability to speak, to think straight, to write, to read, to walk... one HAS to hesitate, there's simply no choice!




When I googled 'hesitate quotes' almost all that came up were 'Don't hesitate' type quotes! Why?? What is wrong with hesitation?? Surely, it's better to think before one speaks, edit before one hits 'send', pause before one publishes...




Many infant schools have this poster on their walls:



Personally, I wish more adults would heed its simple message, in all their forms of communication. Both the online, and the real, worlds would be a lot kinder places.


So, I'm all for making more room for hesitation, and less room for instant (often thoughtless) speech and action.


What do you think? I'd love to know 😍
~000~
IMAGINE
I'm not blessed with a fantastic imagination, and I don't really like fantasy fiction. But I have read Tolkien's novels, and of course this woman's...


Like her, I believe we all carry the power to make THIS WORLD a better place...
I call myself a Romantic Realist - we CAN endeavour to be the best version of ourselves, we CAN think and act kinder, we can IMAGINE BETTER...




I know John Lennon's song 'Imagine' has become something of a cliche, and I do think world peace is a stretch (especially while political leaders continue to be egotistical and posturing). But I don't think it's an impossible dream for each of us to take responsibility for our words and actions, and imagine better for ourselves, our families, our local communities...




Or am I just a misguided dreamer...?
~000~
JOURNAL
Right, here we go... the beginnings of my bullet-cum-art journal I mentioned last week...


As I understand it, the purpose of a bullet journal is to keep all the elements of your life in one place: appointments, to-do lists, meal planners, finances, etc. But I already do most of that in my trusty Filofax, and I have separate prayer and gratitude journals which I began last year. And I'm using this planner already to plan and track my weekly/monthly writing...

So... I've decided to keep this journal for arty-type things, such as paint and pen test pages, journal prompts, book/film/TV reviews, and of course, the odd Moonboard (as pictured here, from yesterday afternoon, the day of the Full Moon, which just so happened to be a BLUE MOON, the second full moon of a calendar month - so actually, they're not THAT rare, despite the saying! But what is rare, this Full Blue Moon happened to be a Super Moon [appears 10-15% larger as it's closer to Earth in its orbit] AND there is a lunar eclipse - the last time all that happened at once was 1866, apparently!)

Anyway...

In true bullet journal style, I've added tabs - Quotes, Blog Ideas, Reviews, Pen and Paint Tests, with space to add more. As I'm using an A4 Moleskine sketchbook, there's plenty of pages to fill AND a trusty pocket at the back to store random bits of paper/pictures until I find a place for them.

I haven't got much done in it yet, as it's been a busy week, but I've made a start, and that's the main thing. Sharing my desk over here at Julia's Stamping Ground.
~000~
KNOW
A wee bit of nurturing wisdom for your Thursday...


Sharing here at Becca's Nurturing Thursday.

~000~

LISTEN
Four years ago, my Word for the year was LISTEN, and I used xmas money to buy this... the stone is a piece of preseli , and I love how it warms on my skin... 
and it's the stone used to build Stonehenge, I understand.


Later that year, I also bought this...


...as I'd discovered  l i s t e n  and  s i l e n t  use the same letters...

I have never stopped listening to the silence... 
... deep within me...
and the stones...


STONE
Go inside a stone 
That would be my way. 
Let somebody else become a dove 
Or gnash with a tiger's tooth. 
I am happy to be a stone. 

From the outside the stone is a riddle: 
No one knows how to answer it. 
Yet within, it must be cool and quiet 
Even though a cow steps on it full weight, 
Even though a child throws it in a river; 
The stone sinks, slow, unperturbed 
To the river bottom 
Where the fishes come to knock on it 
And listen. 

I have seen sparks fly out 
When two stones are rubbed, 
So perhaps it is not dark inside after all; 
Perhaps there is a moon shining 
From somewhere, as though behind a hill— 
Just enough light to make out 
The strange writings, the star-charts 
On the inner walls. 
~ Charles Simic ~

~000~

MARVEL
I do love words whose history can be traced...
Middle English (as a noun): from Old French merveille, from late Latin mirabilia, neuter plural of Latin mirabilis ‘wonderful’, from mirari ‘wonder at’.
Sadly, in 21st-century western parlance, this word seems to be mainly used like this:



But, I prefer to make room for the old way, and MARVEL at the wonder-filled things I experience every day - the vari-plumed birds hanging on the feeder, the chocolately smell of freshly brewed coffee, the warm weight of Molly-cat on my lap...

Daily, I marvel at the wonders of our interconnected world - the messages I receive from all over the globe, the friendships I forge with people I've never met in person.

One of whom, sent me this treasure for Christmas. Sadly, my photos don't do it justice, but it truly is THE most beautiful little book (about 5in square). Indeed, it is a marvel of artistic endeavour and production.
This is the book jacket... Can you see the wee circle of gold on the frog's head? 
Remove the jacket, you find this:
Oh, the shimmer of the imprint, the texture of the bookcloth...

... and the surprise of the red pages within!
I had mentioned to Terry ages ago, I love linoprints... and she remembered 😊
And I LOVE the rhythm of the words on each page...
... they are a prayer, a meditation, a marvellous mantra...


Be the still pool.
Let your face reflect
the glory, the wonder.

Be the dragonfly,
silent but joyful.

Be the bud.
Prepare to blossom...

Be the butterfly.
Accept the riches of the moment.

Be the path.
Open the way for another...

(All words and images © 1999


Council Oak Books, LLC)


~000~
NAP
I have always been a great napper - especially a wee siesta straight after lunch 😪
Before the stroke, a quick 20 minutes shut-eye would do the trick - I'd return to my desk with renewed vigour ready to hit the next manuscript (I was a freelance copyeditor/proofreader). Nowadays, it's more likely to be one to two hours (especially after hydrotherapy)!!


(image from google)


There's ongoing research into the power of napping, of giving our brains time to pause, to power-down, to recharge... I think a quick walk outside can have a similar effect - to clear the head, to fill the lungs (hopefully with fresh air), to give the eyes something else to look at other than computer screens and paperwork.

What do you think? Are you a napper, a walker? Should our work-places be more flexible, more accommodating to what helps people work smarter, rather than insisting they put in the long hours regardless of whether or not they're productive? 


~000~
OPEN
Once again, open on my desk is my bullet-cum-art journal...

Pages I made last week under the Super, Blue Moon, using pages printed from Anne Hayman's workbook. And in the spirit of openness, I share this, although my work with tarot/oracle cards is usually a very personal, private practice.


... I drew these 3 cards (from the Druidcraft Tarot)* in response to Anne's questions:

Card 1 - What am I here to share with the world?
5 of Cups I am here to share my vulnerability, my openness to pain, and loss, and grieving.

Card 2 - How can I have more compassion?
9 of Swords We are all fighting our battles. Most don't show it. Compassion for all - including myself. 

Card 3 - How can shine even brighter than ever before?
6 of Pentacles I can shine by being generous with what I have, and by being honest
 about what I need and when.

It was interesting to draw these often-considered gloomy, negative cards - especially when I was feeling very energized and upbeat at the time. Just shows how being open to whatever comes can be most revealing... 


Sharing with Julia at WOYWW.



* This was my first tarot deck (bought about 13 years ago), and it's still a favourite, although nowadays I prefer to interpret the cards myself rather than use the enclosed book.



~000~
PRAY
For me, every breath is a prayer...

But in a focussed prayer time (usually first thing in the morning, I often use variations of this 'lovingkindness' prayer - starting from the general

... and repeating again and again inserting the names of each of my loved ones, my friends, my neighbours, any I know who are sick or anxious, and finally myself...

The simple, prayful repetition is both calming and powerful.



~000~
QUESTION
I journal every day - sometimes I scribble for pages, sometimes only a few lines...It's where I sort out my thoughts, spilling them from my muddled head into some sort of order on the page, and it's why the many, many months when I could neither read nor write, after the stroke, were the darkest...

On the days when I really don't know where to start, when I have too many thoughts rattling around, I turn to my trusty Filofax where I have lists of journal questions:



What stirs your soul?
What's your favourite feeling?
What expands you? What contracts...?
What do you lie about?
Are you moving towards pleasure or away from pain?

There are dozens and dozens of them I've collected over the years, and there's always one or two that spark an interest, so I scribble away.... till I get to the root of what's really bothering me, upsetting me, disturbing my peace...


That's why I always make room for questions 


~000~
REST
Perfect word for Sunday...

Enjoy the sweetness 😋

~000~

SPEAK
With the stroke, I lost my ability to speak... For weeks, I made noises like a wounded animal... But with regular speech therapy, and months and months doing daily facial exercises, my speech eventually returned - but in another's voice... 

For years, I spoke with a thick Scandinavian accent (my inner Viking, I would joke)... She now only returns when I am tired... The rest of the time, thankfully, I sound like ME when I speak...


Yet, now I have the power to speak whenever I wish, I prefer silence...




Isn't that strange...??
~000~


TOLERATE

And then, I would add, be sure to tolerate every others' peculiar tribe...

PS


~000~
UNDERSTAND
And on my desk today....

... a playful session in the Quotes section of my bullet journal. I had a go at scraping paint straight from the tube across the page using an old loyalty card (for here, if you're interested 😋 )

And what can you espy at the top of the picture?? A wee card and this, from the delectable Ms Dunnit! THANK YOU, JULIA!!

I will wear it with pride on my coat, along with my daffodil for this great charity.

Today is quite a day - Ash Wednesday AND Valentine's - we're going to the local 'ashing' service here...
(image from google)

... after we've enjoyed this - a last hurrah before we focus on Lent 🙏

(image from google)

I am endeavouring to finish my Alphabet of Rooms asap (which you can find in the sidebar, just press the wee lines icon upper left on the homepage, and it will appear); and then I'm taking a break from the internet (other than checking emails) during Lent.

Sharing here at WOYWW.
~000~
VALUE

Sharing with Becca at Nurturing Thursday.

PS Today is the New Moon, and for me the beginning proper of Lent, so I'm taking a break from the internet (other than checking emails). I have gathered all my 'Room to...' posts in my Alphabet of Rooms here in the sidebar, which will appear when you press the wee lines icon upper left on the homepage.
See you after Easter 🌷🌸🌹🌺🌻🌼
~000~

If you want to read through the remaining letters...

WEEP

(ATC © Claire Sauer)

Yes, I weep.
Too easily -
An ad on TV,
A poem,
A photo,
A memory.

Yes, I weep,
Especially when
Trying to speak
Of hard things,
Nameless things,
Memories.

Yes, I weep,
And I'm glad
My feelings are
Just under my skin.
Touch me,
And I weep.

(Today, 5am)

~000~

XFER
Needless to say, the 'x' in any alphabet is tricky, especially if you're looking for a verb...

Apparently 'xfer' is a legitimate abbreviation of 'transfer', and when I first discovered art journalling in my early 40s, I embraced every technique I could - stamping, transferring, sticking, collaging - making tags and books and cards and...


So I give you these old images, done on the scanner, as it was before I got a digital camera - those were the days, eh??



~000~
YIELD
And one is never too old to play...


~000~
And finally.... ZZZZ
Made it!
I'm now taking a break from the internet for the next few weeks. But I'll leave you with this, whether you observe Lent or not:


Love and Blessings,
Claire xx

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